Ash Wednesday Reflections

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent, which is a time of reflection, prayer and repentance leading up to Easter Sunday. Ash Wednesday has become important in my life in recent years. In my past, I never thought much about it. It simply was a day that followed Fat Tuesday, where I laughed at the silly people who went to excess because the next day they would be giving things up for 40 days. But, in recent years, Ash Wednesday has come to mean a whole lot more.

Since I started attending the Ash Wednesday service at my church, the whole ceremony of having ashes placed on my forehead has become significant. At first I thought it was quite strange to walk around with a black cross marked on my skin. But there is something reverential about the whole process. It is like I am saying to God, "I recognize my faults. I know of my failures. I bow before you now and ask you to turn these things to ashes and cleanse my spirit. I ask you to renew me once again." That I can even do that is such an amazing gift!

Despite my new perspective on Ash Wednesday, I still do not practice giving up something for Lent. I guess there is something about it that seems abused. Why am I giving something up? Is it simply so that I will have an answer when somebody asks me? Am I giving up chocolate or Facebook for 45 days so that I can pay my penance? For me, that just does not work. I like to think of it more like I am adding something. We live such busy lives...I live a busy life...so, to just give up something does not seem like it is that much of a sacrifice...or, maybe it is only a half-sacrifice? What if I was to give up something that is taking up my time AND add a spiritual or prayer practice that brings me closer to God? What if I were to turn the useless, time-wasting activities that I engage in into useful, attention-rich activities that cause me to focus on what is most important? I think I would find that I would be more sensitive to God's love and leading, that I would have a more peaceful outlook on life, that my family would enjoy being around me much more, and I would see everyone that I come into contact with throughout my day through God's lens, and not my own distorted and selfish lens.

This, of course, is not an easy task. It actually is hard work! For myself, the themes of Consistency and Persistence come up quite often. Whether it is in developing and maintaining an exercise routine, or scheduling some time to incorporate prayer and meditation in my daily routine, or even in the tasks that I need to complete at my job...being consistent, setting and pursuing goals, and continuing on the path toward those goals is a difficult thing to incorporate. There are always obstacles...there are always distractions...there are always setbacks. But, for me, this is where grace comes into the equation. I don't consider myself a theologian or some great spiritual giant...but I do think about these things. I think about how the principle of grace, undeserved favor, not only applies to my understanding of God, but it also applies to how I treat myself, how I treat my wife and kids, and how I treat my friends and neighbors and everyone else I come into contact with.

In the last few years, I have been into distance running. In fact, last year (2012), I trained for and ran in 3 half-marathons. I have learned many life lessons through that experience. Even today, I run regularly, trying to run at least a 5K (3.15 miles) two to three times a week and I plan to run in more half-marathons in the future. Let me tell you, it is NOT EASY to be consistent about training for a 13.1 mile run. Sometimes I stay up too late and I don't want to get up in the morning to run. Sometimes I use the excuse that it is too cold out (some of my friends that live in freezing winter climates will probably laugh). Sometimes there are legitimate issues going on at home that require that I postpone or delay my run. I never feel good about skipping a run...I ALWAYS feel good when I complete a run. Do you have anything in your life where this happens to you?

What has been an important part of successfully incorporating an exercise routine into my daily life is that I extend grace to MYSELF. There are going to be times when I don't feel like running. There are going to be times when other things in life need to take priority. When I do not run, it is because of a choice I made. I may not deserve to be excused from the choice I made, but what good is it going to do me to dwell on my excuses and punish myself for a potentially "bad" choice? If I push myself to be consistent and persistent, I can miss a day and know that I am going to pick myself up and start anew the next day. The key, for me, is realizing that this exercise routine is not just for 3 months so that I can lose that 10 pounds from Christmas. It is a life change that I am making. I am choosing to turn things around...to do things differently...and to incorporate positive, healthy routines in my life that REPLACE the negative, time-wasters.

I guess Ash Wednesday is significant for me now because it is a day that reminds me to take a step back and examine how far I have come, and how far I still need to go. More so than at the turn of every year, where most people make resolutions and try to dedicate themselves to improving in certain areas, the beginning of Lent is my opportunity to take a look inside and see where I want to dedicate myself to being more consistent. I know it is going to be hard work, but I also know how good it will feel to make that life change...to pursue God's best for me so that I can be a blessing to others.